Creative discipline our way

So, with Brenden in that pre-teen stage of life we have noticed a lot of changes in him the last few months. Put aside his growing taller every day (his size 16 slim pants are too short now! UGH!), the eating like crazy and the voice changing, he's experiencing most of the typical pre-teen behaviors. The one thing of note that we are finding unacceptable is his behavior towards Jacob.

Suddenly we have gone from a fairly predictable getting along most of the time with small squirmishes to Brenden either loves him or hates him (and nothing in between) and most of the time it is the latter. His patience is mostly non-existent but more so than that is the fact that his tone of voice is dripping with dislike, sarcasm and contempt. IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!

I know there are those out there who would say this is perfectly normal behavior for two brothers. It's a stage of their life and that when they both come out on the other end they will find themselves good friends, but I beg to differ-about the perfectly normal part.

If I tell myself it's okay to eat chocolate every day because everyone does then it's more likely I'll not only eat it but I will buy it every time I go to the store "cause everyone else does." So, if I tell myself that Brenden's tone of voice with Jacob is perfectly normal for this age I'm setting them up for years of this because I expect them to behave this way...it's "normal" behavior among brothers.

However, I tend to think if we make it perfectly clear that this is not acceptable for a relationship between brothers, the level of disrespect won't work in our house, we will only have a small hiccup in the road before the rules of respect and love get back in place and sometimes that can take a bit of creative discipline.

So, here's our creative discipline. If Brenden talks to Jacob in such a way he will be grounded from talking to anyone in the house for one full week, except Jacob. If he wants to watch TV or play on the Wii he has to politely ask Jacob and Jacob will ask us. If he needs help practicing his band, he will politely ask Jacob and Jacob will ask us. If he fails to ask politely he has to try again, practicing that respectful tone of voice until he has it perfected.

We presented this disicipline to Brenden at the dinner table last night after he growled harshly at Jacob and we were met with a sheepish grin initially and then a look of pained shock as the reality of what the implications meant sunk in his brain.

So, do you think we got his attention?

On a side note, I got an email from the school's PTA at Brenden's school. They're selling hoodies at the school for Spirit Wear. Check out the back. I am SO GETTING one of these for his birthday!!

Creative discipline our way

http://momsbaggage.blogspot.com/2009/10/creative-discipline-our-way.html

From Em

Emma comes around the corner carrying a hard-boiled egg for snack.

"Mom, will you hatch my egg for me?"

From Em

http://momsbaggage.blogspot.com/2009/10/from-em.html

Bul-what?

So, my brother has been living in Bulgaria for a few years now. He is married to his lovely wife Lili and she is expecting her first child in March.

He emailed a while back with a wild and crazy idea....we could let Jacob go visit some of their very dear friends while we kept one of their very dear friends' daughter. My brother, the world traveler. He's been all over the U.S. and Europe. He's going to have a very well rounded family!

Anyway, Jacob, when initally approached with this concept, was absolutely not interested....as I figured. He's a momma's boy, even when he's a pain in the rump, independent, back-talking child. He's not quite as brave and macho as he would have you believe for which I'm grateful. WHAT!! I like having a baby who needs me.

So Mihaela sent him a letter from Bulgaria (the little girl) and he was soooooo excited and the letter just so happened to arrive the same day as the postcards from Bulgaria (Uncle Mike and Lili) for a class project for Jacob. Well, he doesn't want to take the postcards to the school because there is a chance he won't get them back and he LOVES them. Add to that a letter from a new friend in another country?? He wants to go to Bulgaria now.

My baby, Bulgaria? HUh?

He's fickle (think Wimbly on Fraggle Rock fickle) so I knew his mind would change a few times...which it already has once.

Imagine..I've never been on a plane and yet I have a dad who traveled the world, a mom who has gone with my dad a few times, a brother who has been in tons of countries, a brother who has been to a myriad of states and Iraq.....mmmmm, perhaps my family picked me up in hickville somewhere? Anyway, me not being a world traveler thinking of my son traveling to Bulgaria....

All I can say is WoW!

Bul-what?

http://momsbaggage.blogspot.com/2009/10/bul-what.html

Pooping on Dora

Just witnessed....

Emma in a dark corner of our living room, squatting down in front of her bright red, soft Dora chair whispering softly.

As I stepped closer I realized her bitty baby is sitting in the chair and Emma is gently holding her hands saying:

"It's okay baby. You did a good job going poo-poo."

Moments later, the bitty baby makes an appearance in the office to give me high five for going "poo-poo on the potty mommy."

Pooping on Dora

http://momsbaggage.blogspot.com/2009/10/pooping-on-dora.html

Padme and Anikan

I'm loosing her....She's falling off the cliff in to tomboy'itis and I'm helpless to stop her. UGHGHGHG!!

Emma's rendition of Padme and Anikan with the "heart plant".
Check out his pants and cape. Can you tell there are some Star Wars fans in this house?

At least she still asks me to paint her nails now and again.

On a different note, I blame this all on having boys in the house. Perry and Em got their flu shots one afternoon during my recent illness. When "the brothers" got home they got theirs. Brenden took his no problem but when Jacob had his there were water works and more. Emma (Again, I blame this all on the boys and the things they probably say when mom and dad aren't around) told Jacob "You're such a weenie!"

Padme and Anikan

http://momsbaggage.blogspot.com/2009/10/padme-and-anikan.html

Brenden update

So, we are now into the second six weeks of the school year. He's ALIVE!!! Yea! Woo-hoo!

We have adapted, found routine and are surviving. All this WITHOUT DAILY COMPUTER TIME! Can you believe my little brainiac, techno-driven kiddo is making it without daily computer fixes? He quite simply doesn't have the free time for it.

His day starts with getting ready for school, riding his bike to school and calling me once he gets there. He has been very responsible with his phone, so much so that he has a regular cell phone now. He has forgotten to charge it once or twice but now that he knows his punishment for those indiscretions are a loss of bedtime he seems to be remembering to be much more responsible. Imagine that.

He has been going to math tutoring every day it is available for what he calls "practice" and what I call keeping mom and dad sane. If you will recall we were spending hours and hours on homework every day with him and we were all losing our minds. He has actually brought his failing grade up to a 91!!! YEA!! We are so happy that he is able to pull off the pre-AP math.

He is doing well in band and the dying elephant...I mean tuba practice....isn't as bad as I feared. My without rhythm, less than graceful child might actually find a place in band in the future. Who'da thunkit?

And he's growing....like a weed. He's eating constantly and back to eating without a stop switch again. He used to have lots of issues with eating to the point of us telling him to stop but made himself sick once or twice and fixed that problem right up (sometimes you have to let them fall off the cliff to teach them to not walk so close to the edge) but now that the preteen hormones and growth spurts are hitting this boy is never (NEVER!) full anymore (never share an appetizer with this boy...you won't get any. You will blink and by the time your eyes are open again the food is gone). Physically he's not overweight, though I have commented to Smooch that his son (note: always HIS son when something less than cool is mentioned! :)) has a slight case of man-boob. :) Sorry, TMI? Had to share.

He is getting along well with others, mostly. There are things going on at school that we talk about occasionally that he needs help figuring out so I am certain there are plenty more things he has going on that he THINKS he has figured out that I don't know about. Just trying to be available with ears open to hear them when I need to.

Yesterday some kid offered him $800 for his cell phone. Try explaining that one to Brenden. A friend said it so it is a fact in his brain.

Recent social outings met with success:

He went to the masquerade ball for band dressed as a (drum roll please...) a ninja!!! No electronics, not a robot. He went without us...with a friend and his mom. I know he had a great time 'cause me, in my still somewhat wiped out state, I had gone to bed. When Brenden got home, Smooch opened the door and the "I'm-so-excited-I-don't-realize-I'm-yelling-at-my-dad-while-telling-him-how-much-fun-I-had" boy walked in. I think the neighbors could hear his excited ramblings about his fun time.

Another outing...an amazing outing considering how nerve wracking his first few bus rides even two or three years ago were....he went on the bus with all the other excited, loud kids to a marching band contest in another city. Once upon a time he'd been tearing into his skin on his fingers, chewing holes in his shirts, picking his socks to pieces, humming, staring out the window and more to survive the bus ride. Granted, we did not go with him since we felt pretty comfortable he could handle it, but he arrived home with clothes intact, skin intact and happy to have had fun.

The only issues he had with either event was enuresis but if that's it, well, I'll take it and since none of the other kids realized he had an accident (or, dare I consider, were kind enough to not bring it up???) and no harm was done.

He is doing amazingly well, amazingly. I am reminded, again, why God put us here in this place. It's where we needed to be.

Brenden update

http://momsbaggage.blogspot.com/2009/10/brenden-update.html

It's gonna be a great week.

Yea for the healthy people! Life is mostly returning to normal around here. I'm still puttering around like an invalid more than I'd like and haven't been driving yet due to the constant haze in my vision but I do have some energy and even had a good old mommy growl at doe-eyed boy yesterday so we ALL know life is returning to normal. :)




We spent some time in the glorious sunshine yesterday working on the back yard. The pecan tree has gotten out of control and the naughty little squirrels think the entire back yard is their haven. We trimmed up the tree (Okay, Perry trimmed and I did what I could) with some help from the kids. We're going to move their playscape to the back of the yard to make room for other things back there. The playscape is cumbersome so moving it could be tricky but we've never let that stop us before so why start now? :)




Perry spent time showing the boys how to use the reciprocating saw. Jacob had no desire to even touch it until Brenden decided to try it. Peer pressure? :) They bought thought it was pretty cool; however, they might have felt a bit smothered with mom issuing warnings right and left and dad hovering over them as they used it.




Emma picked up pecans from all over the yard and then gathered seeds from the morning glories so we can plant some more next year. She says the whole yard should be filled with flowers. I agree!!




Jacob and Emma grew tired of "working" so they played for a long time on the playscape and had a blast. Brenden had already grown tired of the group thing by then and went to "clean" his room. :) Whatever! I think reading was more like it or making another lego creation.

Needless to say, yesterday was the most movement I've had in probably three weeks. I'm struggling a bit today as I had insomnia last night and was up until 2 am. EEEWWWWW!!! I saw 2 am on the clock!!! I don't know what's worse...insomnia or insomnia without cable!!

Hope y'all's week is off to a great start.

It's gonna be a great week.

http://momsbaggage.blogspot.com/2009/10/its-gonna-be-great-week.html

Wednesday whines and winners

Let's just get the whines out first. I'm tired,droopin and dragging. My eyes have not cleared and I discovered that two of the
meds those silly docs had me on shouldn't have been mixed. Vision problems are side effects of the meds. Hazy vision makes for an awful situation with night blindness.

Winners??? Well I made it through the day without a nap. Meds could
be out of my system in 3 to 5 days so maybe the vision problems will be gone then too.

Silver linings. We aren't able to go visiting family as planned so Big Red is getting to attend two band events this weekend. My kids have started each day and ended each day with asking if I feel better and telling me they hope I feel better tomorrow. They love alone is healing.

Whatever this mess is or was I'm glad to be almost over it and on the mend. You know it's been a hard few weeks when your skinny mini child seems to weigh a ton and doing laundry wears you out.

Wednesday whines and winners

http://momsbaggage.blogspot.com/2009/10/n.html

So ready to be over it...

Don't read if you don't like whining 'cause that is what I'm planning on doing.

I had a headache two weeks ago this Wednesday. By Saturday my headache had turned to a headache with bloodshot eyes, light sensitivity, and pain when moving my eyes. So we headed to the rapid clinic where I was diagnosed with a migraine and given three shots and three prescriptions.

Sunday I began running a fever which was of concern due to migraine so back to the rapid clinic where, all the while shivering in misery I had blood drawn, the flu and strep tests and a chest x-ray. The MD declared my WBC elevated but all other tests negative. Yes, even the flu test. However, going on the excellent medical stand-bye of "if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck", the MD said it must be too early to show positive flu but they were going to treat me for flu. Three more shots and three scripts.

Thursday we headed back due to continued high fevers, continued eye issues and just plain feelin' like crap. They do another flu test. It's still negative. So here I am five days into the "flu" and I don't have the flu. The current doc sends me for a CAT scan to check the brain since I keep having the eye issues and headache. He calls later to say I probably have a sinus infection and the flu meds, being contraindicated probably made it worse. Hence the eye problems and headache. Two more meds and home again.

So, here we are three days later. I have been "sick" with something for 12 days now. My husband lost three days of unplanned leave and one he had taken for Brenden's ARD and a chiropractor visit. I have hazy vision, a headache hiding just behind the front door waiting for a hard cough or sneeze. My lower back hurts, my mouth is dry. I haven't eaten a regular full meal in days and 20 minutes ago I was hurling parts of my "dinner" into the toilet. There is a constant ringing in my ears and typing this is the first time I've sat with a computer in days.

I have missed my kids. I missed feeling like smiling and I'm just ready to be over it. There's been church without me, an ARD meeting I didn't go to, and more. I'm tired but sleeping alot, always worried about either the headache coming back or my latest attempt at eating and even some drinks coming back too.

I need to be mom and wife again. I don't know if I'm going crazy but most of my current symptoms can be found as a side effect of the current prescriptions...ringing in the ears, vision problems, headache, nausea, vomiting, etc. I can't help but wonder what my symptoms would be without pills? I am not taking anything tomorrow unless the axe that I found in my head on Friday comes back.

Okay, I'm done with the whining now. If you're a praying person pray that whatever this mess is leaves me in peace and life will return to normal sometime this week. If you're not a praying person, well, then why not?

So ready to be over it...

http://momsbaggage.blogspot.com/2009/10/so-ready-to-be-over-it.html