Mom's Baggage

Creative discipline our way

2009-10-23T08:53:00.004-05:00

So, with Brenden in that pre-teen stage of life we have noticed a lot of changes in him the last few months. Put aside his growing taller every day (his size 16 slim pants are too short now! UGH!), the eating like crazy and the voice changing, he's experiencing most of the typical pre-teen behaviors. The one thing of note that we are finding unacceptable is his behavior towards Jacob.

Suddenly we have gone from a fairly predictable getting along most of the time with small squirmishes to Brenden either loves him or hates him (and nothing in between) and most of the time it is the latter. His patience is mostly non-existent but more so than that is the fact that his tone of voice is dripping with dislike, sarcasm and contempt. IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!

I know there are those out there who would say this is perfectly normal behavior for two brothers. It's a stage of their life and that when they both come out on the other end they will find themselves good friends, but I beg to differ-about the perfectly normal part.

If I tell myself it's okay to eat chocolate every day because everyone does then it's more likely I'll not only eat it but I will buy it every time I go to the store "cause everyone else does." So, if I tell myself that Brenden's tone of voice with Jacob is perfectly normal for this age I'm setting them up for years of this because I expect them to behave this way...it's "normal" behavior among brothers.

However, I tend to think if we make it perfectly clear that this is not acceptable for a relationship between brothers, the level of disrespect won't work in our house, we will only have a small hiccup in the road before the rules of respect and love get back in place and sometimes that can take a bit of creative discipline.

So, here's our creative discipline. If Brenden talks to Jacob in such a way he will be grounded from talking to anyone in the house for one full week, except Jacob. If he wants to watch TV or play on the Wii he has to politely ask Jacob and Jacob will ask us. If he needs help practicing his band, he will politely ask Jacob and Jacob will ask us. If he fails to ask politely he has to try again, practicing that respectful tone of voice until he has it perfected.

We presented this disicipline to Brenden at the dinner table last night after he growled harshly at Jacob and we were met with a sheepish grin initially and then a look of pained shock as the reality of what the implications meant sunk in his brain.

So, do you think we got his attention?

On a side note, I got an email from the school's PTA at Brenden's school. They're selling hoodies at the school for Spirit Wear. Check out the back. I am SO GETTING one of these for his birthday!!

From Em

2009-10-22T15:53:00.002-05:00

Emma comes around the corner carrying a hard-boiled egg for snack.

"Mom, will you hatch my egg for me?"

Bul-what?

2009-10-22T15:43:00.002-05:00

So, my brother has been living in Bulgaria for a few years now. He is married to his lovely wife Lili and she is expecting her first child in March.

He emailed a while back with a wild and crazy idea....we could let Jacob go visit some of their very dear friends while we kept one of their very dear friends' daughter. My brother, the world traveler. He's been all over the U.S. and Europe. He's going to have a very well rounded family!

Anyway, Jacob, when initally approached with this concept, was absolutely not interested....as I figured. He's a momma's boy, even when he's a pain in the rump, independent, back-talking child. He's not quite as brave and macho as he would have you believe for which I'm grateful. WHAT!! I like having a baby who needs me.

So Mihaela sent him a letter from Bulgaria (the little girl) and he was soooooo excited and the letter just so happened to arrive the same day as the postcards from Bulgaria (Uncle Mike and Lili) for a class project for Jacob. Well, he doesn't want to take the postcards to the school because there is a chance he won't get them back and he LOVES them. Add to that a letter from a new friend in another country?? He wants to go to Bulgaria now.

My baby, Bulgaria? HUh?

He's fickle (think Wimbly on Fraggle Rock fickle) so I knew his mind would change a few times...which it already has once.

Imagine..I've never been on a plane and yet I have a dad who traveled the world, a mom who has gone with my dad a few times, a brother who has been in tons of countries, a brother who has been to a myriad of states and Iraq.....mmmmm, perhaps my family picked me up in hickville somewhere? Anyway, me not being a world traveler thinking of my son traveling to Bulgaria....

All I can say is WoW!

Pooping on Dora

2009-10-21T16:36:00.002-05:00

Just witnessed....

Emma in a dark corner of our living room, squatting down in front of her bright red, soft Dora chair whispering softly.

As I stepped closer I realized her bitty baby is sitting in the chair and Emma is gently holding her hands saying:

"It's okay baby. You did a good job going poo-poo."

Moments later, the bitty baby makes an appearance in the office to give me high five for going "poo-poo on the potty mommy."

Padme and Anikan

2009-10-21T12:26:00.004-05:00

I'm loosing her....She's falling off the cliff in to tomboy'itis and I'm helpless to stop her. UGHGHGHG!!

Emma's rendition of Padme and Anikan with the "heart plant".
Check out his pants and cape. Can you tell there are some Star Wars fans in this house?

At least she still asks me to paint her nails now and again.

On a different note, I blame this all on having boys in the house. Perry and Em got their flu shots one afternoon during my recent illness. When "the brothers" got home they got theirs. Brenden took his no problem but when Jacob had his there were water works and more. Emma (Again, I blame this all on the boys and the things they probably say when mom and dad aren't around) told Jacob "You're such a weenie!"

Brenden update

2009-10-20T09:43:00.003-05:00

So, we are now into the second six weeks of the school year. He's ALIVE!!! Yea! Woo-hoo!

We have adapted, found routine and are surviving. All this WITHOUT DAILY COMPUTER TIME! Can you believe my little brainiac, techno-driven kiddo is making it without daily computer fixes? He quite simply doesn't have the free time for it.

His day starts with getting ready for school, riding his bike to school and calling me once he gets there. He has been very responsible with his phone, so much so that he has a regular cell phone now. He has forgotten to charge it once or twice but now that he knows his punishment for those indiscretions are a loss of bedtime he seems to be remembering to be much more responsible. Imagine that.

He has been going to math tutoring every day it is available for what he calls "practice" and what I call keeping mom and dad sane. If you will recall we were spending hours and hours on homework every day with him and we were all losing our minds. He has actually brought his failing grade up to a 91!!! YEA!! We are so happy that he is able to pull off the pre-AP math.

He is doing well in band and the dying elephant...I mean tuba practice....isn't as bad as I feared. My without rhythm, less than graceful child might actually find a place in band in the future. Who'da thunkit?

And he's growing....like a weed. He's eating constantly and back to eating without a stop switch again. He used to have lots of issues with eating to the point of us telling him to stop but made himself sick once or twice and fixed that problem right up (sometimes you have to let them fall off the cliff to teach them to not walk so close to the edge) but now that the preteen hormones and growth spurts are hitting this boy is never (NEVER!) full anymore (never share an appetizer with this boy...you won't get any. You will blink and by the time your eyes are open again the food is gone). Physically he's not overweight, though I have commented to Smooch that his son (note: always HIS son when something less than cool is mentioned! :)) has a slight case of man-boob. :) Sorry, TMI? Had to share.

He is getting along well with others, mostly. There are things going on at school that we talk about occasionally that he needs help figuring out so I am certain there are plenty more things he has going on that he THINKS he has figured out that I don't know about. Just trying to be available with ears open to hear them when I need to.

Yesterday some kid offered him $800 for his cell phone. Try explaining that one to Brenden. A friend said it so it is a fact in his brain.

Recent social outings met with success:

He went to the masquerade ball for band dressed as a (drum roll please...) a ninja!!! No electronics, not a robot. He went without us...with a friend and his mom. I know he had a great time 'cause me, in my still somewhat wiped out state, I had gone to bed. When Brenden got home, Smooch opened the door and the "I'm-so-excited-I-don't-realize-I'm-yelling-at-my-dad-while-telling-him-how-much-fun-I-had" boy walked in. I think the neighbors could hear his excited ramblings about his fun time.

Another outing...an amazing outing considering how nerve wracking his first few bus rides even two or three years ago were....he went on the bus with all the other excited, loud kids to a marching band contest in another city. Once upon a time he'd been tearing into his skin on his fingers, chewing holes in his shirts, picking his socks to pieces, humming, staring out the window and more to survive the bus ride. Granted, we did not go with him since we felt pretty comfortable he could handle it, but he arrived home with clothes intact, skin intact and happy to have had fun.

The only issues he had with either event was enuresis but if that's it, well, I'll take it and since none of the other kids realized he had an accident (or, dare I consider, were kind enough to not bring it up???) and no harm was done.

He is doing amazingly well, amazingly. I am reminded, again, why God put us here in this place. It's where we needed to be.

It's gonna be a great week.

2009-10-19T09:24:00.015-05:00

Yea for the healthy people! Life is mostly returning to normal around here. I'm still puttering around like an invalid more than I'd like and haven't been driving yet due to the constant haze in my vision but I do have some energy and even had a good old mommy growl at doe-eyed boy yesterday so we ALL know life is returning to normal. :)

We spent some time in the glorious sunshine yesterday working on the back yard. The pecan tree has gotten out of control and the naughty little squirrels think the entire back yard is their haven. We trimmed up the tree (Okay, Perry trimmed and I did what I could) with some help from the kids. We're going to move their playscape to the back of the yard to make room for other things back there. The playscape is cumbersome so moving it could be tricky but we've never let that stop us before so why start now? :)

Perry spent time showing the boys how to use the reciprocating saw. Jacob had no desire to even touch it until Brenden decided to try it. Peer pressure? :) They bought thought it was pretty cool; however, they might have felt a bit smothered with mom issuing warnings right and left and dad hovering over them as they used it.

Emma picked up pecans from all over the yard and then gathered seeds from the morning glories so we can plant some more next year. She says the whole yard should be filled with flowers. I agree!!

Jacob and Emma grew tired of "working" so they played for a long time on the playscape and had a blast. Brenden had already grown tired of the group thing by then and went to "clean" his room. :) Whatever! I think reading was more like it or making another lego creation.

Needless to say, yesterday was the most movement I've had in probably three weeks. I'm struggling a bit today as I had insomnia last night and was up until 2 am. EEEWWWWW!!! I saw 2 am on the clock!!! I don't know what's worse...insomnia or insomnia without cable!!

Hope y'all's week is off to a great start.

Wednesday whines and winners

2009-10-14T22:24:00.001-05:00

Let's just get the whines out first. I'm tired,droopin and dragging. My eyes have not cleared and I discovered that two of the
meds those silly docs had me on shouldn't have been mixed. Vision problems are side effects of the meds. Hazy vision makes for an awful situation with night blindness.

Winners??? Well I made it through the day without a nap. Meds could
be out of my system in 3 to 5 days so maybe the vision problems will be gone then too.

Silver linings. We aren't able to go visiting family as planned so Big Red is getting to attend two band events this weekend. My kids have started each day and ended each day with asking if I feel better and telling me they hope I feel better tomorrow. They love alone is healing.

Whatever this mess is or was I'm glad to be almost over it and on the mend. You know it's been a hard few weeks when your skinny mini child seems to weigh a ton and doing laundry wears you out.

So ready to be over it...

2009-10-11T23:52:00.002-05:00

Don't read if you don't like whining 'cause that is what I'm planning on doing.

I had a headache two weeks ago this Wednesday. By Saturday my headache had turned to a headache with bloodshot eyes, light sensitivity, and pain when moving my eyes. So we headed to the rapid clinic where I was diagnosed with a migraine and given three shots and three prescriptions.

Sunday I began running a fever which was of concern due to migraine so back to the rapid clinic where, all the while shivering in misery I had blood drawn, the flu and strep tests and a chest x-ray. The MD declared my WBC elevated but all other tests negative. Yes, even the flu test. However, going on the excellent medical stand-bye of "if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck", the MD said it must be too early to show positive flu but they were going to treat me for flu. Three more shots and three scripts.

Thursday we headed back due to continued high fevers, continued eye issues and just plain feelin' like crap. They do another flu test. It's still negative. So here I am five days into the "flu" and I don't have the flu. The current doc sends me for a CAT scan to check the brain since I keep having the eye issues and headache. He calls later to say I probably have a sinus infection and the flu meds, being contraindicated probably made it worse. Hence the eye problems and headache. Two more meds and home again.

So, here we are three days later. I have been "sick" with something for 12 days now. My husband lost three days of unplanned leave and one he had taken for Brenden's ARD and a chiropractor visit. I have hazy vision, a headache hiding just behind the front door waiting for a hard cough or sneeze. My lower back hurts, my mouth is dry. I haven't eaten a regular full meal in days and 20 minutes ago I was hurling parts of my "dinner" into the toilet. There is a constant ringing in my ears and typing this is the first time I've sat with a computer in days.

I have missed my kids. I missed feeling like smiling and I'm just ready to be over it. There's been church without me, an ARD meeting I didn't go to, and more. I'm tired but sleeping alot, always worried about either the headache coming back or my latest attempt at eating and even some drinks coming back too.

I need to be mom and wife again. I don't know if I'm going crazy but most of my current symptoms can be found as a side effect of the current prescriptions...ringing in the ears, vision problems, headache, nausea, vomiting, etc. I can't help but wonder what my symptoms would be without pills? I am not taking anything tomorrow unless the axe that I found in my head on Friday comes back.

Okay, I'm done with the whining now. If you're a praying person pray that whatever this mess is leaves me in peace and life will return to normal sometime this week. If you're not a praying person, well, then why not?

2009-10-08T09:02:00.000-05:00

Yea! Back to the doc today. Any bets on shots?

I'm alive but it's againsty will.

2009-10-07T05:51:00.002-05:00

So be patient as I am typing this on my iPhone while in bed under four blankets fighting off the chills. Yes, I have the flu. Again. And yes mom, I promise to be Mong the first in line for a flu shot next year.

But(it's me and you had to know there was a but), I can't just do flu. No I have
to start it off just right. I mean what nurse wants to give three hip-side flu-related shots in a regular, stretch-marked hip? It's much more
challenging to give those shots when you are trying to avoid the three previous injection marks.

Yes. I follow directions well and when I do something I full intend to do it the "right way" (dripping self-berating sarcasm).

Last Wednesday I had a headache and my eyes were red. I took sudafed and advil for the next three days. My eyes just kept getting worse and it began to really hurt to move them, I began to worry. Off to the clinic we went. All of us except B, who was at a friend's house. After one of the most painful eye exams I've ever had by a very compassionate doctor, he declared it to be a bad migraine. I've had migraines before. The first one happened when I was pregnant with Emma and since then I average about one a month which I treat with OTC migraine meds. This was by far the worst. I could not
even enter a room with a light on by Saturday morning. Even the we-have-kids night light hurt. That's when this stubborn chick caved for a trip to the doctor. I mean, I am pretty cool but apparently even I'm not cool enough for
the sunglasses in the house. So, three shots and three scripts later I vaguely remember Perry helping me to the van. We tried the less
potent drugs first but it was only after the Imitrex that the headache let go of it's deathgrip on my eyes. They are still
bloodshot but no longer painful.
But (yes,another) I apparently was given more than just the good drugs while
there. Bye Sunday noonish I was running fever. After a trip back to the clinic, which I was beginning to dislike, some blood vials, nose and throat swabs and a chest x-Ray later it was decided I had the flu. So much fun.
For the last three or four day I have been suffering with chills, fever, nausea, vomiting and more that's tmi even for me.
Perry has been awesome. He has taken care of me since Saturday and running the house. He's even cooking. There's not been a single
take out.

I hope and pray that I'm almost through all this. My eyes are still red and I have a constant haze in my vision but if it does
clear after the flu is done with me then I'll probably be headed back to the doctor. With. A. Breathing. Mask. On.

Okay, now for the silver linings (yes, I found some).
Remember I said I typing this under four blankets in bed? Well the latest advil/Tylenol has kicked in and I'm having heatstroke. Again. Sorry, I digress. I'm becoming very proficient on this new-fangled iPhone thingy. It saved me somewhat from computer withdrawals too. I have been sentenced to my room until fever free by smooch. Ya know it could be a real ego hit to know the love of your life is swimming in sanitized after coming near you and that he also won't sleep in bed with me either. Feel the love.

Sparky two? I'm gonna kick weight loss girls butt. I'd link back to that but
don't know how. Perry says I'm cheating. Hey! Loosing weight this way is just as hard! I've lost somewhere around five or
six pounds in a week.

I will probably have to start all over on the c25k program, which isn't so great but I
know better than to pick up with my running where I left off.

Finally, I miss my kids a lot! My smart husband knows it's
best to keep them away (Emma snuck in once but I knew I had to send her our).

I apologize for typos. There was no proofreading.

Just simply...

2009-09-30T16:29:00.004-05:00

in love with my little girl. I'm gonna be so lost without her when school starts in August.

I am alive.

2009-09-28T10:19:00.002-05:00

It's just been very busy here....

I'm stepping outside my box.

Change isn't fun for me. I like routine, but ruts are bad places to fall into and get stuck.

So, what's up? What change? See below but before reading keeping your judgments and opinions about how long ago some of these should have occurred to yourself! Otherwise, I might reach through your monitor and smack you around for not being supportive!!

Changes:
I have a GPS now and her name is Vicki ('cause she sounds a bit hoity-toity like VICKI on I Robot).

I'm driving in Dallas traffic for ladies bible class.

I volunteered to be in charge of prayers for my class. (Pick yourself up off the floor and dust yourself off...it's true!)

I wore two inch (yes TWO INCH) wedge heels to church Sunday and (AND) curled my hair with a curling iron. (Repeat the floor picking up and Jay, get Rosario a paper sack 'cause she's probably hyperventilating about now).

We're talking about fasting in class...I'm going to fast from TV between the hours of 8 am and 5:30 pm for one week. GASP! Can she do it? A SAHM with no TV for her or the chitlin? We'll see.

I got an iPhone and actually semi know how to use it.

I started the couch to 5 k program.

Didya notice it's pretty much all about me right now? :) Mmm, maybe it's time.

Venting...and the ways we do it...

2009-09-21T19:23:00.002-05:00

Venting....

How do you vent? Are you physical? Emotional? Internalizing it all to the point of ulcers? Do you slam doors, punch walls, overturn tables, throw things? Do you weep hysterically for hours on end until it's all out of your system and your eyes look like almond shaped marshmallows? Or do you keep it all inside...seething with the stress that eats you up from the inside out that makes all your insides twist and ache from unsaid frustration an anger?

There was a time when I was that emotional rollercoaster ride. Things didn't go the way I expected and the water works started. Someone was out to get me, being unfair..unjust. I would cry until my eyes were puffy and gooey. Fortunately for me these years were also heavily laden with adolescent hormones and all the "stuff" that goes with it and fortunately for me, I managed to outgrow that (for the most part).

Then there was a time that I would throw the boldest, wildest and dumbest of tantrums. It was as though throwing stuff, yelling, breaking was going to 1.) make me feel better and 2.) fix the situation. (You can stop rolling on the floor over that theory anytime now! Seriously, stop laughing!!) This behavior was excruciating for my poor smooch and unfortunately it continued through the first couple of years we were married. Yes, I have several shameful memories of my behavior...tipping over a coffee table, dumping out a drawer of utensils all over the floor and more....Smooch let me battle those demons of anger and then usually very politely told me I could clean up my mess. Fortunately for me, I managed to outgrow that (for the most part).

I've never been one to really internalize well...My husband would be laughing at that understatement. I can hear him now..."Yes, her internalizing lasts until the first time I ask her what's wrong and then she unloads with both barrels!"

Today I was really irritated with the school...Jacob forgot his homework and returned to the school. The rule is once you have left you may not return to the school building and we both knew that rule. He intended on asking the office staff if she would buzz the teacher's room to see if she could bring the papers to him or have someone bring them up so 1.) he wouldn't be in trouble at home and 2.) he wouldn't have a bad grade for late work. The office staff wouldn't even let him finish his question. She said 'no' before he even asked it. He left in tears and came in the back door in tears. I try hard to instill respect in my children and I must achieve part of this by modeling it for them....respecting them too. It is my sincere hope that a school would have the same goals for our children but apparently not all staff do. She sent him away without ever knowing what his question was because she didn't have enough respect to let him ask it.

Stage one? I could have cried in frustration (even as I type this it seems so extremely silly to me) and pondered why the world was out to get me and my family. Cried because the school was setting my son up for failure and not success, the woman had an agenda against him, me or whatever insanely immature thing that would float through my head.

Stage two? I could have gone up there slamming doors and issuing ultimatums about what will and will not happen with my child. I could have thrown things at home, slammed drawers and more.

So, what did I do? Where did I vent? I went to my support in life, smooch, and bounced it off him. I'm not insane. It was rude. I sent what I hope came across as a tactfully worded email to point how how the incident came across and the resulting reaction from both Jacob and me. It seemed rude and disrespectful and our question still remained unanswered...can he get someone to bring his homework to the office if that were to happen again.

The simple truth of the matter is that parenting is hard but you have to work in all (ALL) the areas humanly possible as a parent for well rounded children, sometimes as they occur and sometimes where fate steps in and helps you along. Teaching them how to handle the frustrating situations with maturity, patience and kindness towards others is sometimes very challenging, especially if you, yourself, are challenged in this area.

I learned long ago that the temper tantrums were not the way....I recall clearly Brenden hiding from me as a toddler as I vented my anger (raged is probably a better term) and then I got to spend the next several years (okay I still do it occasionally) worrying that I caused his Autism with situations like that. I knew that I needed to find healthy ways of dealing with life's ups and downs. Now that my boys are getting older I reconize that I need to help them find those healthy ways too....

And then fate steps in....

As I sit here, I am listening to the new "thing" I got today to help my sons (and daughter) vent in their immaturity until they can learn to do it in their maturity...It's a kickboxing bag. Brenden walked in the door and punched it so many times that he slid it from the back door and across the tile to the kitchen. When he finished he said "That felt good." Then he walked over the the table, sat down and started his homework. The intent was they would love kicking and punching on it to work out energy and frustration but I had NO IDEA what a "hit" (hit? Get it? Hit?) it would be with them. Even Em (okay, picture this....dressed in a purple polkadot tutu dress with silver sequins), has been found multiple times punching and attempting to kick this bag...she can't quite reach to kick it.

I would imagine that Jacob had much internalized frustration over not being heard at school today. Brenden (who's current English paper is being written about a bully on the playground...wonder where he got the idea for that storyline?) is bound to be tied up with the frustrations of life on a regular basis too. Em, well, she's a bit young for frustrations that go beyond going to bed early for missing a nap but she'll get the point.

Even as I put these thoughts in words I realize even more...Perry and I have tried hard to teach our children "appropriate behavior" such as no temper tantrums, no emotional outbursts and crying jags but we've not really done much to show them ways to let that frustration out, constructive ways. I guess in a way it's like we taught them half the lesson...time for the second half.

I only have one more thought...I wish I had a punching bag growing up!

Let's recap and then hit rewind.

2009-09-15T08:22:00.004-05:00

I think this day might need a restart....

It was going pretty good....I had my cereal and yogurt and didn't even flinch when I realized the yogurt was almost gone and almost not worth serving because there wasn't much there. I let my breakfast sit a few minutes and then got on the treadmill.

So far so good.

The boys come tell me goodbye as they head out the door to school and both are on time and smiling. Jacob and Brenden both even seemed....mmmm, proud (?) that was I was on the treadmill. I was feeling pretty good having donned my new blue exercise shorts that are a size....(drum roll pelase) MEDIUM!!!

Then, you knew it was coming, the downhill decline began. First smooch announces Ms. Em is now Ms. Grumpy pants. "She is tired and mopey." Great! Ladies bible class will be fun today....but it's all good...after I get off the treadmill and get my shower she'll be excited to be headed to class and see her friends. No worries. Right?

Then Brenden calls...I'm still on the treadmill, huffing and puffing.

"Mom?"
"Yes?"
"My tire is flat."
"Where are you?"
"By the school zone sign."
"Be there in a few minutes."

I have no rope or bungies in the van (WHAT! I know. I know. Gasp! Shock! Me not have those in my van) to tie the door shut after loading it in so my sweaty body (now sweaty with mud on my legs from loading a bike in the back of my van) is driving painfully slow down the road with a bike tire hanging out the back and the hazards on.....I can do this, I can do this......please don't get impatient with me or I'll speed up and throw this ten speed right out the back of my van on your hood MISTER!

We can still make it to ladies class...I'll unload it and run upstairs for a quick shower...the ladies won't care if I don't shave my legs....

"MOM! There's a spider!!!"
"Well, knock it off of you."
"It bit me!!! There's blood."

Now my sweaty body with muddy legs in a tank top (that I have no business wearing in public) with my bra straps hanging out is pulling over my slow moving van with the hazards on and the bike tire hanging out the back to check on my spider bitten grumpy cherub...on the side of the road....by the school bus stop....where the middle school kiddos are hanging out. Thank goodness they don't know Brenden's my son or I'd be to blame for the next round of teasing and harrassing....

It wasn't a spider.
It was a mosquito.
It was the mosquito's blood.
There was a new round of tears.
She killed something.
The mosquito.

BTW, we're not making it to ladies bible class today....I'm going to take a nice, long, hot shower....

and I'm going to shave my legs.

Back in the saddle again...

2009-09-14T19:50:00.004-05:00

or should I say WLG (weight loss girls)....

After four years of getting off and on again, I'm back on the wagon again for regular exercise and such. Thanks to a treadmill and accountability to two friends (the WLG), I have officially been watching my eating and exercising for a month. I won't call it a diet because I don't want to be on a diet the rest of my life but I do want to eat better and teach my kids so they don't find themselves in my shoes at my age.

We all started the day school started with an "official" weigh-in and then we all weigh every Monday. Everyone puts in $10 smackers to start and $1 smacker for each pound gained at any point...I gained three over Labor Day weekend so I had to put three in.

Emma licking the wisk after helping make our new substitute for our regular Friday night icecream treat.....sugar free chocolate pudding with 2% milk...1/3 the calories!!

Today was our one month weigh-in and together we have all lost 17 pounds between us. Whoo-hoo! I have really been enjoying Fit Day to keep an actual food log. I have always, always wrinkled my nose at food logs but the first day was all it took to convince me....that'd be the tuna-noodle-casserole-chocolate chip-coconut scarfin' day...if a calorie count like that won't convince you to keep track, nothin' will! I love how it shows what your calories in and calories out are....Makes you really think before you randomly stuff something in your mouth.

So, watcha think? One pound at a time I might be back to my weight AFTER having Em' by Christmas! :) Never move just after having a baby thinkin' you will lose that baby weight anytime soon!

Out of Mom's mouth....

2009-09-14T19:49:00.001-05:00

I'm not responsible for your irresponsibility!

Homework Tips for Parents

2009-09-11T12:12:00.002-05:00

and others things I've learned recently....

Middle-school has opened a whole new chapter in my experiences with children, school and homework. Here are a couple of links that I found helpful: "Homework Tips for Parents"
"Helping your Child with Homework" and even more here.

From: "Homework Tips for Parents."

MATH HOMEWORK TIPS FOR PARENTS
✪ Encourage your child to use a daily math assignment book.
✪ Follow the progress your child is making in math. Check with your child daily
about his homework.
✪ If you don‘t understand your child‘s math assignments, engage in frequent
communication with his or her teacher.
✪ If your child is experiencing problems in math, contact the teacher to learn
whether he or she is working at grade level and what can be done at home to
help improve academic progress.
✪ Request that your child‘s teacher schedule after-school math tutoring sessions
if your child really needs help.
✪ Advocate with the principal for the use of research-based peer tutoring
programs for math. These tutoring programs have proven results, and students
really enjoy them.
✪ Use household chores as opportunities for reinforcing math learning such as
cooking and repair activities.
✪ Try to be aware of how your child is being taught math, and don‘t teach
strategies and shortcuts that conflict with the approach the teacher is using.
Check in with the teacher and ask what you can do to help. Ask the teacher
about online resources that you can use with your child at home.
✪ At the beginning of the year, ask your child‘s teacher for a list of suggestions
that will enable you to help your child with math homework.

The "Boob holder"

2009-09-11T07:52:00.002-05:00

No pictures will be provided....

So, my girly girl who takes note of all.....well, she gave Smooch a real knee-slappin' funny yesterday as I retold my Em'ism for the day when he got home....

I've been trying to treadmill daily and it gets pretty warm. So yesterday, since brothers were at school and it was just Em and I, I did what I've seen lots of women doing out in the wide open, I exercised with a sports bra on and no shirt.

I come around the corner and there's Em with a surprised look....

"Mom, why are you just wearing your boob holder?"

Helping a middle school child with homework

2009-09-10T17:27:00.003-05:00

Ya know, when I was growing up I don't remember parents who checked my work for me, asked about my tests etc. Sure, some is the passage of time making my memory less helpful these days and other things combined with the fact that both my parents held full-time jobs, but I don't have one of those "real" jobs. I stay home so I might as well be useful.

Up until this year I've never really been much help except for the occasional spelling words and flash cards for math facts but this year is turning out to be different...I started off the year more willing to help and make it a great year than ever before and it's probably a good thing.

Tuesday my son was failing math with a 67 and I was on a frustration overload. We were all working so hard to help him succeed that it was stressing us all out. Nightly extended periods of homework combined with many fears and worries had lead to a meltdown....on my part.

Wednesday he went to tutoring before school and found that the zero was a grading system error on the computer...should have been 100. He redid the assignment he made a 50 on and got a max score of 70. He talked to his teacher and explained how "things were going at home" and how "his mom and dad felt" (GREAT! I have a child who tells all....he'll tell the woman in the grocery store I had three c-sections because my children's heads were too big...I can only imagine the convo he had with his math teacher). Anyway, he had a math test later that afternoon and on pins and needles we checked his math grade on line....Before the test he had brought the grade to a 73 and by the end of the evening???? He had a 78. He made an 85 on his test! EIGHTY-STINKIN'-FIVE!! High fives were flying last night.

So, since my original melt down he has gained 11 points on his average. Today he redid the quiz he made a 60 on and scored a 70 (max scores for redone failed grades are 70's....we never got redos...you just got whatcha got...they are lucky).

So, what's the plan??? Well, as his math teacher put it...reevaluate at the end of the six weeks but she thinks he just needs more time to get in the swing of things. My sis-in-law said her son is the same way with school right now and he DOESN"T have Asperger's! :) My cousin Lene offered up the idea of letting him work on math and then something else, breaking into small sections to lower his frustration and increase his attention to it. I'm still going to check his homework every night, monitor his pencil supply (he's been eating erasers and pencils again as well as chewing the skin off the back of his thumb), and help him stay organized. I'm praying that he will "get the swing of it" and this marathon nightly homework will not be the new middle-school norm.

I told Brenden I was sorry for blowing my top at him and that I was just very frustrated. He said he works his frustration out on the Wii games and I told him I worked mine out on the treadmill....his response? "Well, maybe you'll lose a few fat pounds if I keep you frustrated." Mmmm, don't get me started kiddo, don't get me started!

Feeling lost and frustrated...

2009-09-09T14:32:00.003-05:00

Okay, after some sweetened coconut flakes and chocolate chips right out of the bag which were preceded by two large bowls of tuna noodle casserole I am finally feeling more alive today. I did 45 minutes on the treadmill after Ms. Em laid down for her nap which helped too....

I'm struggling...I'm so struggling.

Since almost the first week of school (we are in week three) Brenden has been having regular math worksheets. He missed being placed in pre-ap math by one or two questions (on the TAKS test) and we were told that since he wanted to be in it we could ask that he be placed in it anyway with an option to take him out if necessary.

His math has been the most stressful, frustrating, toss my hands up in the air and wonder what to do part of middle school. He is failing math. He has never failed a subject before. His work is messy and jumbled, his processes are confused and distracted, it's a mess in general.

His teacher said he could use graphing paper to work his problems...all the little boxes keep his numbers neater and help him but he still has tons and tons of careless errors. Oh, and don't even tell him to slow down to work the problems to fix them because last night alone was three hours plus only on math homework, not to mention he had band, geography and leap homework that he had not even started by 8 pm.

I haven't yelled, ranted and raved as much as I did last night in a while...the frustration of the last three weeks boiled over when he said he had no idea what one of his assignments HE had written down in HIS planner was for homework. He wrote it there but he hadn't a clue what it was.

He has been given access to resource class after the math lesson to use the Kurzwell program (scan in worksheets to be completed on the computer due to his handwriting) and to get assistance with his math. He has access to math tutoring before school but he has been going to the cafeteria instead to visit with friends....I told him last night that he was to go to the tutoring and the resource class every day. He was to ASK if he didn't know what an assignment was or needed help.

We want him to succeed. He has a real bent to engineering but he has to have his math in there for that...though I don't know about the pre-ap math. He is currently failing and if he can't bring that grade up then at the end of this six weeks we are going to be reevaluating his math class.

Why am I lost and frustrated? Well, all these answerless questions are rolling through my head...
Is he in the right class?
Are we jumping the gun about thinking he's not capable of this?
Do we expect too much of him?
Should he have just gone into regular math?
How much to ask the special ed counselor for help?
Should I be (or my husband) be checking his math homework with him everynight...he's got 100's on homework and 50's in class?
How much more of the agonizing three hour math marathon days will the three of us be able to do before calling it quits?

We went to church last Wednesday night for the first time, despite him having to do homework in the van on the way there and the way back. We want to plug in good and tight. Access 24/7 for Brenden and Elementary classes for Jacob and preschool for Em. They love going and I'm incredibly said to feel we cannot do this because Brenden has too much math work, too much homework.

He has no down time right now. He has no reading time, no Wii time, no play time. The really strange thing is he doesn't seem to miss that. There is no acting out, no temper tantrums, etc. He (HE) is thriving on the entire middle school experience, except for when mom and dad are chewing him out or giving him the third degree about zeros he knows nothing of and 50's because he was able to do two problems, showing the work and did the rest without showing the work.

Have you been there done that? Do you have a middle schooler, high schooler who is high functioning, in GT classes, Ap classes etc.? Your advice and input, suck it up thoughts, etc.....share, please.

Momma always did say....

2009-09-09T11:29:00.001-05:00

If you haven't got nothing nice to say then don't say nothing at all.

And now for the next little girl....

2009-09-05T19:54:00.002-05:00

When I was a kid we used to go camping all the time. What made it even better and more exciting was the fact that my dad drove a motorcycle with a cool sidecar and my mom drove a motorcycle with a little trailer. The first side car...not so cool. It was a plain one with no frills, not even drain holes...Yes, I did say drain holes. We once got caught in one serious rain storm and the water had no way out once it was in. We put the cover on, the cover that went flat over the top so you had to sink down low, snap the cover on and lay there til you got somewhere to stop. The next sidecar was cool! Very cool! I remember it came in a large wooden crate, it had a wrap-around windshield and doors....but Daddy could still raise it off the ground making the corner when he chose.

We all three had sleeping bags and shared a tent. Mom and Dad had their own tent. We had pancakes by the campfire. My mom had a cool yellow container that would hold something like nine eggs in egg-shaped compartments.

Once we were up in the Davis Mountains and the snow came down. Daddy collapsed our tent on us, snow and all. :) He had to drive down the mountain on the bike to get the truck to get mom's bike out of that one, if I remember correctly.

We all loved camping, though this girl never got the hang of...um, well....remember those little ladders over the fences on the side of the road if you 'just had to go'? Well, I never got the hang of non-facility going. :)

Once, my long hair was just flapping behind my helmet and we forgot hairbands so my mom braided my hair and secured it with twisties.

Well, tonight, years and years and years after those adventures, long after Daddy's knees dictated no more motorcycling and certainly a long time since trying to find facilities in nature, I am roughing it in a hotel in Tomball, TX. I say roughing it because we have a tiny hotel room with two full beds for five people. We planned to have one child sleeping on a pallet. I'm sitting at this cheesy little hotel table, checking email, etc. and I look over and realize that my sweet little girl is laying on a pallet...a pallet made with a sleeping bag from home....a red and blue flannel lined sleeping bag that I slept on more times than I can remember. The zipper long since stopped working and I think it has a bit of string to keep it rolled when not in use....If she could only know the places that sleeping bag has been...as she lays there with that thumb in her mouth, little does she realize that her own mommy used to lay on that same sleeping bag in between her two big brothers in a tent somewhere fun and exciting. Sometimes listening to cougars fighting or with a sneaky skunk outside the tent eating popcorn off the ground.

It's the little things in life sometimes that trigger the most intense memories. Driving by Chuckie Cheese in the Woodlands and remembering that is where we took the boys after Jacob's visit with the surgeon, past the sign that said 'Madisonville' and remembering that little 'ol Madisonville has a gas station with the first automatic papertowel sensor I'd ever seen, and seeing old friends today that remind me why I am who I am....friends who helped shape me in my youth...

or

....maybe I'm just tired and sentimental from being in a dinky little hotel room with three children who think the tv is awesome because it has cable.

Ya, he quite clearly doesn't get it.....

2009-09-04T07:56:00.002-05:00

So, here we are two weeks into school and Big Red has been calling religiously to let me know of his safe arrival at the bike rack after his bike ride to school.

Brenden just called to let me know he was at school.

Great job! Right? Well, Dad took him to school today, you know, in the truck?

I guess he didn't want to mess up the rhythm and routine of calling to let me know that he safely arrived, even if it was dad who took him. :)

The last horaah before school started....

2009-09-03T12:50:00.005-05:00

involved a bit of heaven, at least in the opinion of three Lego fans.